pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
