that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
