Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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