I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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