i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
