last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
