Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The Olympian is in my bed
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
