Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
