what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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