thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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