So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
