Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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