You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize