Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
