So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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