it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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