Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
