No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
