I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
