but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
