I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
