so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
