Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
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If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
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I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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