shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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