Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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