Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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