Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
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New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
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I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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