I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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