found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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