If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Boobs speak an international language.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
