ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
