guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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