so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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