I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's never too late to be topless.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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