Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
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And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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