I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I touched a dick in church today
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
