why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
