If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
