Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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