I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
