Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
