You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
party gras won. party gras always wins.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
