She's JV to your varsity
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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