I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
