I think I died a long time ago.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
