The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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