Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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