He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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