Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My vagina just recognized that song.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
