I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
