im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.