Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

I'm eating all of the evidence.

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(716): I'm eating all of the evidence. http://tfl.nu/m4yn

Replies (12) Good night (2263) Bad night (620)
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(650): View more from California

after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you

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(650): after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you http://tfl.nu/blf7

Replies (38) Good night (9988) Bad night (775)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.

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(908): Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger. http://tfl.nu/ni0e

Replies (17) Good night (8101) Bad night (2072)
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(561): View more from Florida

oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything

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(561): oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything http://tfl.nu/egks

Replies (10) Good night (3657) Bad night (1412)
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(773): View more from Illinois

literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in

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(773): literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in http://tfl.nu/d9qi

Replies (8) Good night (4074) Bad night (1949)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?

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(513): I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means? http://tfl.nu/ni5g

Replies (12) Good night (4135) Bad night (1022)
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(770): View more from Georgia

He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.

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(770): He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology. http://tfl.nu/vyx3

Replies (9) Good night (3382) Bad night (903)
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(248): View more from Michigan

It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.

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(248): It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card. http://tfl.nu/7db5

Replies (6) Good night (2874) Bad night (712)
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(330): View more from Ohio

He was the only guy who ever made me cry..

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?

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(330): He was the only guy who ever made me cry.. (1-330): Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach? http://tfl.nu/1khh

Replies (2) Good night (2345) Bad night (651)
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(207): View more from Maine

when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance

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(207): when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance http://tfl.nu/dir9

Replies (4) Good night (1554) Bad night (499)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate

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(920): So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate http://tfl.nu/3qfe

Replies (1) Good night (1155) Bad night (573)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.

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(541): Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad. http://tfl.nu/nlxo

Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (1306)
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(801): View more from Utah

Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.

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(801): Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell. http://tfl.nu/ht90

Replies (4) Good night (1269) Bad night (378)
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(352): View more from Florida

I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!

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(352): I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!! http://tfl.nu/xhpg

Replies (5) Good night (682) Bad night (406)
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(410): View more from Maryland

The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.

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(410): The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club. http://tfl.nu/ncu7

Replies (0) Good night (428) Bad night (265)

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