well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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