I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
