I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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