the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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