Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I need to calm my uterus...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
