I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
