afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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