I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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