You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Panties = found
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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