Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
