I heard we made out
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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