Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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