You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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