based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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